How many tears I've cried for you
     Since the day you changed my life.
One for every breath you should have taken
     One for every heartbeat that never came.
One for every smile I wish I could have seen
     One for every hair upon your head.
One for every blink, one for every yawn,
     One for every giggle, laugh, and cry of joy.

And just as soon as I think
     the tears have dried....

                    I CRIED.

Clovers, clovers, everywhere...

My husband said something the other day that has been nagging at me. He meant no harm in saying it, and I have no hard feelings toward him for it. It stems from an outsider's perspective of my emotional state - and I think I owe it to him (and other families like ours) to explain myself.

Without getting into all the details, my first child was stillborn in 2010 - four months too early. Her original due date was March 17, 2011. 

St. Patrick's Day.

So, naturally, that holiday - and the clovers that so often embody it - became synonymous with my daughter. I have clover clings on the window in my kitchen. I have clover earrings, bracelets, and necklaces. I have over-sized felt clovers on the wall by my back door. I have a welcome sign, a sticker on my van, a decal on my laptop. My living children know what the clovers are for, and we have renamed March 17th, Lia Day. 

Now that you have that tiny backstory, let me remind you again that I have no hard feeling toward my darling husband for what he said. It just made me think.

"Doesn't all the clovers everywhere kind of, you know, make it seem like you're elevating her higher than the other kids?"

The short answer is "No."

But here, for Kyle (and for many other people who have wondered the same thing at one point or another), is the long answer:

I don't think that my clovers are putting Lia on a pedestal.

First of all, I am obsessive in general - I have 67 lip balms and a closet full of fabric and nine Doctor Who sonic screwdrivers and 48 Jim Brickman albums and at one time had 127 plush Eeyores... I could go on and on. The point here is that the volume of clovers isn't really an issue in my world, because it is a natural progression for my personality. Some obsessiveness is just a bit of who I am. 

So why would collecting clovers be any different?

But to most people, that is just too much. It seems unhealthy to the outside world. They think, "Dang, that girl needs to learn to let go". But what would you do? 

Imagine it - your child is gone. How do you cope? The answer to that question is going to vary depending on the person and the situation. Everyone grieves differently.

My way to grieve is to have little reminders of my daughter everywhere I look.

If I'm in the kitchen, the window reminds me.

If I'm in the living room, the marble paperweight on my desk reminds me.

If I'm in my bedroom, my clover bear reminds me.

Walking down the hall, the welcome sign reminds me.

Leaving in the van, the window decal reminds me.

In any other place, at any other time, my jewelry reminds me.

When I see those clovers I remember how much I love her (as if I could ever forget). And it also reminds everyone else who knows me even a little bit, that I love her. The world should know that my daughter existed. They have memorials for veterans, they have monuments to great leaders, they have gravestones for loved ones who have lived their lives and made their memories.

But what memories are there of Lia except for mine?

She never took a breath, therefore she gets no birth certificate. According to the birth records, MY DAUGHTER NEVER EXISTED AT ALL. 

That is why I put clovers everywhere. That is why I tell my story to anyone who will listen. That is why I shall never be silent and will always speak her name as if she were my child BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS HAS BEEN MY CHILD. 

She matters just as much as a child who was miscarried. As much as the toddler who died of SIDS. As much as the child who lost a battle with cancer.  As much as the teenager in a car accident. If it were your child, it would destroy you - no matter the manner of their death.

So no matter what we are doing - playing hide-and-seek or playing with train tracks, whining about chores or fighting with each other, eating our meals and reading our stories - with the clovers, my Lia is always there. I can't ever let the world forget that I have five children, even though you only can see four. I owe it to the girl who changed my life to never forget hers.

And that, my friends, is why. That is why I love clovers and have them near me all the time. In March for sure; but also in May, and August, and December, and all the days in between. For other parents it's butterflies. Or roses. Or Chewbacca. It doesn't matter what reminds us of those beautiful lives we have lost - it matters that we have something. Something that is ours, and theirs. And they all are beautiful.

Let us not forget the people that are in our hearts at all hours of the day and night.

And don't let the world forget about them, either.

Flower Week FRIDAY Schedule (plus links to printables!)

Everyday activities:

Study vocabulary words. I like to use Montessori-style nomenclature cards for these. I print and laminate them, then cut them apart and punch holes in the corners. For some reason, my kids love flipping through the cards when they're on a little binder ring. More fun than a flat page I suppose! Download your free flower nomenclature cards HERE. She has a whole bunch of awesome nomenclature card sets for free to download, and I would suggest getting them all! But for this week specifically, scroll down just a smidge and click on "Flowers" under the heading "Nomenclature/3-part cards.

Work on beginning alphabet sounds. This week I chose to use the cards from a set of printables you can download HERE. Many of my resources are coming from that set, so while you're in there, go ahead and get all three parts. Again, I love to laminate these and put them on the binder ring. That way you can use a clothespin to mark the correct letter, or a dry erase marker.

Work on counting skills. I am using the counting clip cards that you can download HERE. I'm also having several of my resources coming from that set. Laminate, put them on the binder ring. Use a clothespin to mark the correct number, or a dry erase marker.

 Practice letter tracing. The set you downloaded for the alphabet sounds (HERE if you still need them) includes three alphabet pages. P for Pots, G for gloves, and S for Seeds. I laminate those as well, and the kids love doing them over and over again.

Scissor or prewriting practice. I found these in the set you downloaded for the counting cards (HERE if you still need them). If you intend on using these for prewriting practice, go ahead and laminate them. If you prefer to use them for your little ones to work on their scissor skills, just print them on regular paper.

Friday activities:

Nature Walk. The end of the week will be a little more relaxed - so we are planning on getting out and taking a nice long walk. Hopefully we will find some little wild flowers to pick for the next project that we'll do when we return home...

Nature Clay Prints. Inspiration found HERE. How much fun we will have pressing the little flowers we find into the clay! And they'll make great play pieces after they cure and harden - we might just have to paint them, too! We like to use Crayola Air-Dry clay.

Stamp and Sticker Art. Just hand the children a piece of paper, flower stickers, rubber stamps, and an inkpad and see what they do! When they're done, they could use it as the outside cover of their lapbooks!

Work on your Plant Lapbook. Work on this project one little piece each day, and by the end of the week your child will have their own little display of everything they learned. Great for showing off to family members and for reviewing the information after the theme week is finished. For the assembly of the actual lapbook, see HERE. For today, we'll add an observation chart. Find it HERE.

Flower Week THURSDAY Schedule (plus links to printables!)

Everyday activities:

Study vocabulary words. I like to use Montessori-style nomenclature cards for these. I print and laminate them, then cut them apart and punch holes in the corners. For some reason, my kids love flipping through the cards when they're on a little binder ring. More fun than a flat page I suppose! Download your free flower nomenclature cards HERE. She has a whole bunch of awesome nomenclature card sets for free to download, and I would suggest getting them all! But for this week specifically, scroll down just a smidge and click on "Flowers" under the heading "Nomenclature/3-part cards.

Work on beginning alphabet sounds. This week I chose to use the cards from a set of printables you can download HERE. Many of my resources are coming from that set, so while you're in there, go ahead and get all three parts. Again, I love to laminate these and put them on the binder ring. That way you can use a clothespin to mark the correct letter, or a dry erase marker.

Work on counting skills. I am using the counting clip cards that you can download HERE. I'm also having several of my resources coming from that set. Laminate, put them on the binder ring. Use a clothespin to mark the correct number, or a dry erase marker.

 Practice letter tracing. The set you downloaded for the alphabet sounds (HERE if you still need them) includes three alphabet pages. P for Pots, G for gloves, and S for Seeds. I laminate those as well, and the kids love doing them over and over again.

Scissor or prewriting practice. I found these in the set you downloaded for the counting cards (HERE if you still need them). If you intend on using these for prewriting practice, go ahead and laminate them. If you prefer to use them for your little ones to work on their scissor skills, just print them on regular paper.

Thursday activities:

Pollination Pom Pom transfer. As we discuss the process of pollination through various insects and birds. The idea is simple - Have the kids grab the pom pom balls from flower to flower. Good for eye-hand coordination, and just a fun little game for little hands to play. Inspiration HERE.

Garden sensory bin. Yep, here it is again! A sensory bin is one of the most anticipated activities for any theme week! Fill a bin with pinto beans, add some small pots or containers, silk flowers, and some kid-sized gardening tools.

Flower/Pot color matching. Found a fun printable HERE to have the kids match the colors of the pots and flowers. I think I will laminate mine, and then I can write uppercase and lowercase letters or numbers on the pieces with a dry erase marker to work with my older son as well.

Work on your Plant Lapbook. Work on this project one little piece each day, and by the end of the week your child will have their own little display of everything they learned. Great for showing off to family members and for reviewing the information after the theme week is finished. For the assembly of the actual lapbook, see HERE. For today, we'll add a fun flip book about the flower life cycle found HERE.

Flower Week WEDNESDAY Schedule (plus links to printables!)

Everyday activities:

Study vocabulary words. I like to use Montessori-style nomenclature cards for these. I print and laminate them, then cut them apart and punch holes in the corners. For some reason, my kids love flipping through the cards when they're on a little binder ring. More fun than a flat page I suppose! Download your free flower nomenclature cards HERE. She has a whole bunch of awesome nomenclature card sets for free to download, and I would suggest getting them all! But for this week specifically, scroll down just a smidge and click on "Flowers" under the heading "Nomenclature/3-part cards.

Work on beginning alphabet sounds. This week I chose to use the cards from a set of printables you can download HERE. Many of my resources are coming from that set, so while you're in there, go ahead and get all three parts. Again, I love to laminate these and put them on the binder ring. That way you can use a clothespin to mark the correct letter, or a dry erase marker.

Work on counting skills. I am using the counting clip cards that you can download HERE. I'm also having several of my resources coming from that set. Laminate, put them on the binder ring. Use a clothespin to mark the correct number, or a dry erase marker.

 Practice letter tracing. The set you downloaded for the alphabet sounds (HERE if you still need them) includes three alphabet pages. P for Pots, G for gloves, and S for Seeds. I laminate those as well, and the kids love doing them over and over again.

Scissor or prewriting practice. I found these in the set you downloaded for the counting cards (HERE if you still need them). If you intend on using these for prewriting practice, go ahead and laminate them. If you prefer to use them for your little ones to work on their scissor skills, just print them on regular paper.

Wednesday activities:

Dissect a bouquet. I picked up a fun bouquet of mixed flowers, and I will give the kids scissors to cut them into pieces so we can study the inner workings of each blossom. It would be good to have a good book showing diagrams of the inside parts of a flower, such as this one found HERE. 

Sticky flower art. This is perfect for us to use the parts of the flowers we just tore apart. Contact paper taped to a wall or window (sticky side out) and let the kids loose with all the random flower bits we just made. Inspiration found HERE.

Flower sticker color sorting. I made some quick fun printables to help my little guy practice his color recognition. He does pretty good, but a little repetition wouldn't hurt! HERE is my printable flower stickers - you should be able to print and cut into squares. And HERE is the printable colors page. I'll just have him sort the stickers by color onto that page. 

Work on your Plant Lapbook. Work on this project one little piece each day, and by the end of the week your child will have their own little display of everything they learned. Great for showing off to family members and for reviewing the information after the theme week is finished. For the assembly of the actual lapbook, see HERE. For today, we'll add diagram of the inside parts of a flower that you can find HERE.

Flower Week TUESDAY Schedule (plus links to printables!)

Everyday activities:

Study vocabulary words. I like to use Montessori-style nomenclature cards for these. I print and laminate them, then cut them apart and punch holes in the corners. For some reason, my kids love flipping through the cards when they're on a little binder ring. More fun than a flat page I suppose! Download your free flower nomenclature cards HERE. She has a whole bunch of awesome nomenclature card sets for free to download, and I would suggest getting them all! But for this week specifically, scroll down just a smidge and click on "Flowers" under the heading "Nomenclature/3-part cards.

Work on beginning alphabet sounds. This week I chose to use the cards from a set of printables you can download HERE. Many of my resources are coming from that set, so while you're in there, go ahead and get all three parts. Again, I love to laminate these and put them on the binder ring. That way you can use a clothespin to mark the correct letter, or a dry erase marker.

Work on counting skills. I am using the counting clip cards that you can download HERE. I'm also having several of my resources coming from that set. Laminate, put them on the binder ring. Use a clothespin to mark the correct number, or a dry erase marker.

 Practice letter tracing. The set you downloaded for the alphabet sounds (HERE if you still need them) includes three alphabet pages. P for Pots, G for gloves, and S for Seeds. I laminate those as well, and the kids love doing them over and over again.

Scissor or prewriting practice. I found these in the set you downloaded for the counting cards (HERE if you still need them). If you intend on using these for prewriting practice, go ahead and laminate them. If you prefer to use them for your little ones to work on their scissor skills, just print them on regular paper.

Tuesday activities:

Color Flowers. A great science experiment to demonstrate how a plant's root system brings nutrients up from the soil. I chose carnations because they are my favorite (and they usually aren't expensive), but I would imagine any white flower would work. I bought three skinny vases so each of my children could choose a color - but any vase or tall glass would do the job as well. You can find a good tutorial HERE.

Flower Play Doh Invitation. My kids love the stuff - we have enough Play Doh equipment to entertain a preschool class. For today, I will set up a (conveniently flower-shaped) snack tray with Doh and various elements to prompt their creativity. Flower cookie cutters, buttons, pipe cleaners, jewels, and silk flowers. I also found a fondant mold in my stash of stuff. It'll be fun to see where they take the activity. Inspiration found HERE.

Measure Garden Tools. I wanted to introduce my older boys to the concept of measuring. So I made up a little worksheet HERE. I'll have them measure the items and discuss how to read a ruler. It will also help with some number recognition. I found little set at the dollar store that included a small measuring tape and a dressmakers tape - I think those will work nicely since they are always trying to steal mine!






Pattern Blocks. I recently purchased some plastic pattern blocks and the kids love matching them to the printable designs I've found online. Great for working on shapes, colors, and analytical thinking skills. HERE is the link to a ton of free printable designs, and HERE if you want a flower specifically. Don't have any pattern blocks? She also has some printable ones HERE you can use!

Work on your Plant Lapbook. Work on this project one little piece each day, and by the end of the week your child will have their own little display of everything they learned. Great for showing off to family members and for reviewing the information after the theme week is finished. For the assembly of the actual lapbook, see HERE. For today, we'll add a flip book about the parts of a flower to the inside of one of the side flaps. Download your flipbook HERE.

Flower Week MONDAY Schedule (plus links to printables!)

Everyday activities:

Study vocabulary words. I like to use Montessori-style nomenclature cards for these. I print and laminate them, then cut them apart and punch holes in the corners. For some reason, my kids love flipping through the cards when they're on a little binder ring. More fun than a flat page I suppose! Download your free flower nomenclature cards HERE. She has a whole bunch of awesome nomenclature card sets for free to download, and I would suggest getting them all! But for this week specifically, scroll down just a smidge and click on "Flowers" under the heading "Nomenclature/3-part cards.

Work on beginning alphabet sounds. This week I chose to use the cards from a set of printables you can download HERE. Many of my resources are coming from that set, so while you're in there, go ahead and get all three parts. Again, I love to laminate these and put them on the binder ring. That way you can use a clothespin to mark the correct letter, or a dry erase marker.

Work on counting skills. I am using the counting clip cards that you can download HERE. I'm also having several of my resources coming from that set. Laminate, put them on the binder ring. Use a clothespin to mark the correct number, or a dry erase marker.

 Practice letter tracing. The set you downloaded for the alphabet sounds (HERE if you still need them) includes three alphabet pages. P for Pots, G for gloves, and S for Seeds. I laminate those as well, and the kids love doing them over and over again.

Scissor or prewriting practice. I found these in the set you downloaded for the counting cards (HERE if you still need them). If you intend on using these for prewriting practice, go ahead and laminate them. If you prefer to use them for your little ones to work on their scissor skills, just print them on regular paper.

MONDAY:

Go to the library. Have your children ask their librarian to help them find books about plants or flowers. Search for at least one that discusses the life cycle of a plant - something you can use to talk about all the different stages of a plant's development.


Investigate seeds. Take your seed packets, and empty each set of seeds into a snack size ziploc bag with the package. (So no one eats them or dumps them all over the floor) Talk about how flowers start as tiny little seeds and grow! Use your magnifying glasses to examine the seeds. Talk about each seed - ask them which are the biggest, which are smallest. Have you seen these kind of seeds before (such as watermelon seeds). I got the idea from HERE.

(Some more good resources for seeds can be found HERE.)

Plant a bean in a jar or old CD case. A classic science experiment for kids of any age - a great walkthrough of the experiment is HERE.

"Roll a Flower" activity. This looks like a fun game for the kids to play! Roll the dice to see which part of the flower you get to lay down. I may print two sets of this game, so both of my boys can play together. Laminate for extra durability! Found in the set you got the counting cards from (HERE if you still need them).

Flowers in a strainer. Perfect simple activity for my littlest one. Just take your silk flowers (after you cut them into the individual stems) and have them stick the stems into an overturned strainer. Fun, simple, and I know it'll keep her occupied for quite a while! Idea found HERE.








Garden sensory bin. This one you'll probably have to keep up all week, if your kids are like mine! A sensory bin is one of the most anticipated activities for any theme week! Fill a bin with pinto beans, add some small pots or containers, silk flowers, and some kid-sized gardening tools.





Start your Plant Lapbook. Work on this project one little piece each day, and by the end of the week your child will have their own little display of everything they learned. Great for showing off to family members and for reviewing the information after the theme week is finished. For the assembly of the actual lapbook, see HERE. For this first day, we'll work on a mini book for the plant life cycle. Download HERE.

More of the schedule to come!